vegas and i were in bed pretty much all weekend. i went to his show on fri, went home with him, spent most of sat with him, then i went to babysit, he had another show, but he came over after. sunday we stayed in bed until 11am and then got everything ready to go visit his parent for a few hours. then we watched some tv, made some popcorn and relaxed. then we went to bed and were up at 5am this morning….you know….being sexy.
well, i’m out of condoms, so i went on my lunch break to go pick some up. and when i’m buying something that could be embarrassing, i pick something else up to cover the item of interest. i know it is stupid. i do the same thing with tampons and bad beer.
well, i grab a pack of gum, i’m almost out anyway. and stroll by the condom aisle as nonchalantly as possible. it is like the worst aisle in target. home pregnancy tests, condoms, all kinds of hoohaa medicine, foot fungus stuff. yikes. it would probably be hysterical to film that aisle and watch the footage bc everyone is very uncomfortable there.
well, target is out of the 12 pack of our condoms. and even the three pack, which i don’t even bother buying anymore, but in a pinch, it would work. well, i’m feeling empowered after the encouragement i received after writing “sex in bulk,” so i grab the 36 pack of condoms. that is right. hear me roar.
so, i put the condoms on the conveyer belt, with the pack of gum on top. the gum doesn’t even cover the condoms, but it still makes me feel more comfortable, so whatever. and….of course, some drop-dead handsome guy gets in line behind me with nothing but a 3 pack of condoms. ha!
the cashier sees what he is purchasing and looks at me and then looks at him, and her eyes get all wide, but she doesn’t say anything.
meanwhile, i’m literally sweating, trying not to die or laugh or puke, and avoiding eye contact at all costs.
i leave, and practically run out of target.
$13 for 36 condoms! if you can handle the other hot shoppers, then i highly suggest it.
so, we are def set for a few weeks.
