exactly what i want

last night, i’m out with some friends. wesley, ophelia, vegas and some others and i look down and see a missed call…..from who?  oh yes…bob.

i’ve made a pointed effort not to contact him since sunday at the barbeque.  i’m not really giving any of these other guys a fair shot while he is in my head, so i stop making the effort.  i’ve put myself out there and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be with me, that is fine, but i’m done.

well, he hardly calls, we more text back and forth, so i get nervous that something might be wrong and i call him back. 

the conversation the way wesley hears it is goes like this “hey, yeah, oh, i’m pretty good.  i’m at clyde’s in tysons.  yeah, i’ll be here for a bit.  oh, uh, ok, see you in a few.”

so he comes, he offers to buy me drinks, is openly flirting and asking about a singles only party i’m throwing that he and some other of our friends are invited to.  we laugh and it is nice to hang out with him.

i’m kinda uncomfortable.  i’ve been so steadfast in trying to get bob out of my head, that i get irritated for enjoying myself too much.  i wouldn’t let him buy me drinks, he offered, three times.  ophelia, wesley and a bunch of other people leave and it is just vegas, bob, another guy and me.  ugh.

geez.

i pay my tab, come back to the table, chat for a few minutes, and then leave. everyone gets a hug and a kiss on the cheek and i’m out.

so, i’ve been thinking.  was i wrong?  i mean, bob did everything i would want  him to do. 

*he contacted me without any provocation which means he was thinking about me.

*he went out of his way to see me.

*he offers to buy me drinks, and i never want guys to buy me anything, but the gesture is always nice.

*he is nice and charming and it was really fun.

and i was a hardass.  i was distant and cool and nonchalant (well, i’m never really nonchalant, but i really try).

when i think about it, i’ve done this every step of the way with bob.  he goes to cancun for a work thing, and asks me what i want and i say “don’t buy me anything.”

i’m telling him how i canceled on my step sis, bc i had a “thing” with him, and he says “is that what dinner and a movie is?  a thing?” and i say “well, i never know what to call a ‘date.’” 

ugh.  brutal, huh?

but he’s done the same with me.  he’s text me late and asked me what i am doing and i’ve written back “nothing really, want company?” which everyone knows is code for “let’s get naked.” and he’s written back “no, i think i’m gonna just chill on my own.”  what? really?

 

so, what do you think?  what is the verdict?  is it hopeless?  am i hopeless?  or just romantically retarded?

frustrated

i’m feeling frustrated today. 

vegas came over for dinner last night.  i made quesadillas and a yummy bean salad.  black beans, tomatoes, nectarines and a little bit of balsamic vinegar.  we watched suicide kings which is a great movie. 

i don’t really know what the deal is.  i don’t know if i’m interested in dating him, but i keep walking into these “date like situations.”  and there is never any escalation, which is ok, but i don’t know what his motives are.  i know i’m a fun girl and maybe he just wants to be best friends, but there is an element of flirting which i don’t know what to do with.  he is hilarious and loads of fun to be around, and there is a little electricity between us, but it just hasn’t progressed normally.  like i know “normally.”  advice?

i’ve still been thinking about bob a bit.

i’m mostly frustrated with myself.  violetta and juliet are probably SO sick of hearing about this saga of sucky.

i need to meet someone that gets bob out of my head. 

ahem, mr. perfect purse, ahem.

vegas

i’ve known vegas for almost a year now, and nothing has progressed until recently.

so, vegas got my number from wesley.  i never gave it to him, but he never asked either.  vegas wanted to meet up with us for wesley’s birthday and i was doing the planning.  i chastised brad for giving out my number, i would never give a friend’s number out without their permission…but anyway, that is how he got my number and from that incident spawned a gross amount of texts.

we flirt, text each other and email probably at least 10 times a day.  every day.  we talk about the people we are dating…i actually give his girls nicknames too.  he is currently juggling “the barber” and “piper.” 

mostly we make fun of each other, but there is always a flirty tone.  he says things like “can i say yes to you?” and when i was sick, he offered to bring me soup and i said “ugh, no, i am a mess and sound like an 80 year old man with emphysema”  and he says “that is what i’m into!  hot!”  he is really funny, and i enjoy his company.

we do this texting/emailing thing exclusively.  he never calls me, i never call him.  well the first time he called when he was in vegas with 3 of his buddies and it was memorial day weekend.  he actually said “come with me” when he told me about the vegas trip…and i considered it.  he is drunk.  really drunk.  and he calls and is flirting and telling me about pete rose, and i was out of town and visiting a friend and we had been on the beach and drinking for hours.  anyway, since then we talk occasionally on the phone.

it is kind of an interesting balance of friendship and flirting.  there have been times when i was sure that he was asking me out, but then he would cancel or rescind the invite before i could say “yes” or “no.”  we go out mostly with mutual friends, watch some football together, and a few weeks ago he asked me to have a beer with him.  it is just him and me.  first time we’ve ever done something alone.  well, without our friends around.  and it is good.  i have a beer, he orders quesadillas.  we chat, for about an hour, it is nice, easy, we laugh a lot.  we are there for about an hour, then we go our separate ways.

then i go over there this past sunday to watch the last game at yankee stadium and then “the replacements” until 2am.  he walks me to my car, tells me he wants to taste some of my famous quesadillas and i say “well, i’d invite you over, but you’ll probably  just cancel anyway.”  and he says “no, this week, wednesday.”  and i say “but we have that thing on wednesday,”  and he says “no we don’t, we’re having dinner.”  i agree, get in my car and wonder how that happened.

i love when guys have enough confidence to assume that you will go along with what they say.  i don’t want it to seem that i like people telling me what to do, that isn’t it.  but he’s come up to me while we were out and said “let’s get out of here, let’s just go.” and i would’ve if i didn’t have someone there who was counting on me for a ride.  he can be quiet, but he’s confident and nice.

he talks about family and the people he loves with such fondness.  he says things like “i’ll probably stop following the yankees in a few years when all my guys retire, and then i’ll follow them again when my kids take an interest.”  i get the distinct impression that he is looking for “the one,”  and i don’t know if i can be that for anyone. 

he is coming over wed for dinner, he’s confirmed it.  i don’t even know if it is a date, but i kinda think it is.  it is dinner and just the two of us.  we’ll see.

**in other news, i think i’m done with bob.  i’ve thought about it all ways, and i don’t think i want the stress of it anymore.  bob asked me if he was gonna see me on wed and i said “i don’t think so, i’ve got a thing.” and he says “who’s the lucky guy?”  oops.  he’s figured out my lingo?  how did that happen?  i mean, it is no secret i’ve been dating other people.  he’s the one who made it clear that he doesn’t want to continue things.  but, i guess it came down to seeing vegas or seeing him and i chose vegas, and it actually sounded like he was sad about it.