the saga of sucky continues

vegas and i had just talked about keeping things under wraps and last night we met at the club.  bob was there.  ophelia, wesley and violetta too.  well, after the show we went to clyde’s in tysons.  i show first, order vegas and myself some drinks, then he shows and we sit and talk for a few minutes.  then bob shows.  i don’t know what happened exactly, but i could feel vegas getting irritated, and as soon as wesley and some others showed, he left.  he just walked out.  ugh. 

so then i send him a text that says “we’re on for tomorrow, right?”

“that’s gotta stop.  i won’t be disrespected like that again” he replies.  what?

i say “do you want me to tell him?  bc then the cat is out of the bag.”

he says “why wouldn’t you tell him?”  seriously?  how many times do we have to say this?

well, everyone goes to the bathroom, kinda weird, and it is just wesley and me at the bar.  we’ve been friends forever, and he says “what’s wrong, what is with all the texting?”  and i say “well, umm, i’m seeing vegas.  it’s been a few weeks.”  and he says “OH, and bob doesn’t know, got it.”  and i say “exactly.”

so then, wesley takes this as his cue, leaves, the other guys leave too and it is just bob and me.  and bob says “so, miranda, what is new?”  and i say “well, i’m kinda seeing vegas.”  and he says “kinda seeing or seeing?”  and i say “seeing.  things happened right before the party, so it’s been a few weeks, we’ve been keeping things quiet but i wanted to make sure you heard it from me.” 

….

he takes a sip of his drink, gets quiet and says “miranda, i don’t want you to think you aren’t important to me.  introducing you to my roommates was a big deal for me, i know you might not see that, but i like you so much, and i just am not ready for anything ‘real.’  and i knew if we got any closer, i would have to be all in, and i wasn’t ready for that.  but vegas is a great guy, he’s liked you forever and he’ll treat you better than i can.”

there were so many questions running thru my mind, why he did things, why he didn’t do others.  but i didn’t ask them.  i just let him get it out.  i didn’t expect him to pour his heart out, i didn’t see that coming, but it was nice to hear that things weren’t one-sided.  a little late, but still nice to hear.

i say “bob, we are good though, everything is cool, right?”

and he says “of course, i can’t imagine my world without you in it.”

ugh.

then i say “i’m going home.  goodnight.”

then i text vegas “wesley and bob both know.  i’m heading home.  goodnight.”

and he calls.  he is irritated and short with me. 

all of a sudden things are feeling less fun and not easy.

 

i’m guessing i’m in for another “talk” tonight when he comes for dinner.

the status conversation

ugh.

so, last night vegas asked me to go to an early movie with him.  we went to see zach and miri make a porno which was pretty funny and very cute.  we went to the clyde’s in tysons after and sat down and had a beer.

a few days ago, i told vegas about promising to take bob to the redskins/cowboy game and he got a little pissy about it.  he started with humor “fine, bc i’m going on a date with herbie.”  one of our other friends.  ha.  then he got a little serious and said “you know that is a date, right?”  and i said “no, it isn’t.  i specified ‘non date’ terms.”  and he said “miranda, he isn’t gonna stop trying unless he knows you are involved.”  and then he said “as long as he knows you are seeing me, then it is fine.”

hmmmm.

so, now, we are sitting across from each other and he makes a joke how he told our friend tim and “the cat is out of the bag.”  we both laugh, he says he’s kidding and then he brings it up.  he says “i mean, what would i say?  we haven’t really talked about our ’status’ and not that we need to define things every step of the way, but we should probably discuss it.”

geez.

so i say “well, i’m not sleeping with anyone else.”  ha.  classic miranda!  obviously the issue isn’t the sex.  the sex is amazing, the issue is every thing else.  he kinda chuckles and he says “well, me neither.”  and then i say “well, i don’t really know how we’d have time or energy for that.”  ha.  wow.  then i say “but seriously, i don’t sleep with guys i don’t like and i’m having a lot of fun doing what we are doing.”  he says “me too, i think we should keep it quiet for a bit longer.”  i told him i was sorry about the situation about the game, and how i feel like an asshole for it and understand if he was upset.  i told him i would rather go with him, but, at this point, it is about keeping a promise to a friend. 

so now what?

keep it quiet, but tell bob.   how does that work?  as soon as bob knows, all our other friends are gonna know. 

 

help on deciphering this guy talk, please.  because i’m SO close to just asking vegas “what do you want me to say?”  that could be disastrous, and i don’t want to bring up the status conversation.

exactly what i want

last night, i’m out with some friends. wesley, ophelia, vegas and some others and i look down and see a missed call…..from who?  oh yes…bob.

i’ve made a pointed effort not to contact him since sunday at the barbeque.  i’m not really giving any of these other guys a fair shot while he is in my head, so i stop making the effort.  i’ve put myself out there and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be with me, that is fine, but i’m done.

well, he hardly calls, we more text back and forth, so i get nervous that something might be wrong and i call him back. 

the conversation the way wesley hears it is goes like this “hey, yeah, oh, i’m pretty good.  i’m at clyde’s in tysons.  yeah, i’ll be here for a bit.  oh, uh, ok, see you in a few.”

so he comes, he offers to buy me drinks, is openly flirting and asking about a singles only party i’m throwing that he and some other of our friends are invited to.  we laugh and it is nice to hang out with him.

i’m kinda uncomfortable.  i’ve been so steadfast in trying to get bob out of my head, that i get irritated for enjoying myself too much.  i wouldn’t let him buy me drinks, he offered, three times.  ophelia, wesley and a bunch of other people leave and it is just vegas, bob, another guy and me.  ugh.

geez.

i pay my tab, come back to the table, chat for a few minutes, and then leave. everyone gets a hug and a kiss on the cheek and i’m out.

so, i’ve been thinking.  was i wrong?  i mean, bob did everything i would want  him to do. 

*he contacted me without any provocation which means he was thinking about me.

*he went out of his way to see me.

*he offers to buy me drinks, and i never want guys to buy me anything, but the gesture is always nice.

*he is nice and charming and it was really fun.

and i was a hardass.  i was distant and cool and nonchalant (well, i’m never really nonchalant, but i really try).

when i think about it, i’ve done this every step of the way with bob.  he goes to cancun for a work thing, and asks me what i want and i say “don’t buy me anything.”

i’m telling him how i canceled on my step sis, bc i had a “thing” with him, and he says “is that what dinner and a movie is?  a thing?” and i say “well, i never know what to call a ‘date.’” 

ugh.  brutal, huh?

but he’s done the same with me.  he’s text me late and asked me what i am doing and i’ve written back “nothing really, want company?” which everyone knows is code for “let’s get naked.” and he’s written back “no, i think i’m gonna just chill on my own.”  what? really?

 

so, what do you think?  what is the verdict?  is it hopeless?  am i hopeless?  or just romantically retarded?