helen of troy

i know, i know.  kinda a weird name for a dude i’ve been involved with, but i was trying to think of a male  name in history that caused a war like this guy did, and i couldn’t.  so, he’s helen.  ok?  helen is a HE. 

clear?  ok.

helen was  a senior when i was a sophomore at tech and i met him thru the same bothersome roommate that introduced me to the golfer.  however, another of our roommates, patty, was apparently in love with helen.  well, i didn’t know this, and helen cornered me one night and kissed me and told me how much he liked me.  i was definitely flattered because helen (that one and this one) was known for his beauty. 

well, patty, was 24 or so, returning back to school after a hiatus, so you’d think she would have been the mature one in the house.  no, no, no.  this girl went nuts when she found out helen liked me.  helen and patty had gotten drunk and hooked up before.  and what was a drunk, meaningless interlude to helen, was a passionate expression of true feelings to patty.  when patty asked if anything happened with helen and me, i told her that he had kissed me and she didn’t talk to me for a week or so, and then started getting really bizarre.

i told helen i didn’t want to see him anymore, because i didn’t want it to adversely affect my home life, and he implored me to reconsider.  ultimately, what patty did was make helen forbidden fruit, and i was tempted.

not long after that, patty came home drunk and screaming.  i was in my room, door locked, and she came in and i heard things crashing, she banged on my door, yelling and then she went to the bathroom, and i grabbed my jacket and purse and ran out of the house.  where did i go?  you guessed it…. helen’s.

it wasn’t right, but i did.  and we had a great time, and kept having a great time until he graduated in may.  during that time, patty and my relationship deteriorated.  she wouldn’t talk to me, she locked herself in her room most of the time and gave me dirty looks or paid me no mind when we did see eachother.  i remember she once locked me out using the chain on the front door and i had to sneak in thru a window, she threw my pots and pans out on the lawn once, and she didn’t pay me for her last month’s bills.  of course. 

after that, helen and i were involved only on a “late night depending on availability” basis.  we were  great friends, it was never weird between us, and i liked him and he liked me, so it was never “just sex,” but it wasn’t much more.

when helen graduated he left the following message for me on our voicemail for everyone to hear.  “miranda, this is helen.  i just wanted to say thanks so much for an incredible year.  i’m so glad we were able to become close and stay close.  you are one of the best people i’ll remember in college and i’m sorry if i made things difficult for you.  i hope i made it worth it.  i hope this isn’t it and i hope i’ll see you again.”

i’ve never acted like patty, i never freaked out bc a guy didn’t like me.  sure, i’ve had my feelings hurt and there have been plenty of instances where i liked a guy more than he liked me, but i’ve never wished someone ill bc they made someone i cared about happier than i could.  sure i joke about “that hussy who stole my boyfriend” in high school, but it is all ok.  because i don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.  i don’t think anyone wants that, not really, not if you are honest with yourself.

 

***i don’t know how or when it happened exactly but i’ve fallen pretty hard for vegas.  things are so good and i’m happier than i can remember.  i also accepted a new job that will essentially double my earnings, which is awesome.  things are working out and coming together.  i’m hoping 2009 is my year.  in “road to recovery’s” blog, he reminded me that “nothing is scary and difficult forever,” so, i’m adopting that as my new dogma and facing forward, taking one step at a time.  and i love juliet, violetta and ophelia for being there with me every step of the way.

the golfer

i met the golfer my freshman year in college.  i was at a friend’s party and there were a bunch of my friends from my dorm there.  i ended up dancing with this tall guy with dreamy eyes.  he was your average frat guy, i could tell instantly.  athletic, likes to over drink, into everything Jay Z, but SO cute.  well, my friend lauren was dancing with his roommate and they were trying to go back and crash at the golfer’s place.  that’s when the golfer said “i’m not going anywhere without miranda.”  ha.  well, i talked to my friend who was throwing the party and she said he was a good guy and i wasn’t drinking so lauren and i go back with the golfer and his friend. 

his friend was this really big guy with braces and i remember lauren saying “i have a thing for guys with braces.”  who has a “thing” for guys with braces?  it isn’t a very desirable accessory like glasses or a beard or a commanding brow line.  i’ve always thought that was weird.

anyway,  lauren and senor braces start making out (ouch!) on the couch and the golfer and i go into his room.  very few clothes came off, it was pretty innocent kissing an flirting.  we talked for a bit, probably an hour, and then lauren knocked on the door, and we came out.  i didn’t give him my number.  i figured if he wanted to see me he’d talk to our mutual friend. 

so, we hang out a bit, but he’s busy, i’m busy, and we communicate mostly over IM.  well, that summer he IMs me and wants to get together.  so we start hanging out.  a lot.  he lives probably 7 miles from me, he works 3 miles from me, we are close and we see each other probably 3 – 4 nights a week.  we get kinda close, but i never really consider us “dating.” 

one of the weirdest things about the golfer was that we would hang out mostly at his parents’ place and when we wanted some “private time” we’d go down to a couch in the basement.  well, his mom knitted baptismal gowns for babies and she’d lay them out on this couch, so before we were able to do anything fun, he ceremoniously collect all the gowns and put them somewhere else.  ew.  i don’t know if it was the reference to babies or god but it creeped me out, and i never had sex with him.  ha.

one night, i was out with a bunch of my girlfriends and meeting up with the golfer later.  well, someone hit my car in a parking lot, and if it had been just a few seconds earlier, i would have been VERY hurt because i was outside the car.  luckily, no one was injured.  i was freaked out.  i called the golfer and he told me to come over “whatever the time.”

so, i took all the girls home and ended up at his place around 1am.  still frazzled from the accident, i jumped out of my car, locked the door, and went around to the back entrance to the family room.  um.  no one up.  no tv on.  nothing.

no big deal…oh wait, yes it is because i locked my keys, purse and phone in the car.  no way!  how does this shit happen to me.  so, i end up throwing rocks, i know i know, at what i hope is his bedroom window.  no no, the gods are not kind to me on this night, and then i wake up his parents.  now, they’ve met me, but still, i look like a total crazy.  they wake up the golfer to take me home and get the spare key from my mom and bring me back to my car so i can then retreat in utter shame.

i never thought he would call me again, but he comes back from vacation and asks me how i am and we see each other at school off and on, but we never get together.  i’m guessing probably because if he ever brought me home again i’d be introduced as “that crazy girl who locked herself out of her car in the middle of the night that time.  come on…you know…the one you thought was a burglar.”

i guess i’m lucky i didn’t get shot, i am in virginia.

 

***btw, did you know that you burn 110 calories for every 20 minutes of sex?  37 calories for every 15 minutes of foreplay?  i’m at 150 for the day already, i don’t know about you.  wink wink.

5 things i like about vegas

there are loads more, but i figure any list with more than five gets a bit pretentious. 

*when we order out or go out to eat, he always asks my sis if she wants anything.  and if she says “no” he asks if she is sure.

*he texts me first thing every morning he isn’t with me and asks how i slept.

*he plays with my dog.  gets on the floor, rolls around, and wrestles. 

*he’s busy with his own schedule.  he’s got shows about 3 – 4 nights a week.  but if he can’t see me, he always calls.

*he is smart.  he can keep up with me in conversation, he has a strong command of the english language.  he can use 5 syllable words and not sound like an idiot.  intelligence is very sexy to me.

 

all in all.  things are good.  still.  amazing.

sex hair

i have long hair.  really long, thick brown hair.  when it is down and loose, it is about 4 inches from the small of my back.  really long.

well.  after mine and vegas’s sexual endeavors, my hair is ridiculous.  there could be a sloth nesting on the top of my head and you wouldn’t know after this mass of matted mess. 

i spend probably 2 hours trying to coax my bad bed head back into lovely locks.  i use at least 3 types of conditioners and detanglers trying to make it easier and it might help a bit, but not really.

to be honest, i don’t mind a bit of hair pulling, i even like it a little.  but the hair brushing thing is getting on my nerves.

anyone know a way to prevent sex hair?  is there a product?

work function

so, i have a work function coming up, it is a dinner, and the invitation is for me “and guest.”

hmmm.

so, i’m trying to decide if i want to invite vegas to go with me.  it’s been 3 months.  things are great.  but i’m not sure if i’m ready to let those things mix yet.  i’m pretty happy in my pretty compartmentalized reality.

i know his friends and family.

he knows a lot of my friends and sister pretty well.

and that is comfortable to me. 

plus my boss is a wench and i don’t really feel like going myself, so why bring him?  hmm. 

any advice?  any suggestions?

 

juliet!  wanna come with?  next sat 615.  the gnocchi is delicious!

 

***we had a great date night last night.  i made a pot roast, he brought the baguette, we watched “pineapple express” and then went to bed.  and i’m sure my neighbors hate us.

dirty talk

uh, um, ha. (little bro….just stop reading.)

vegas loves it.  he sends me x-rated, naughty texts that make me blush all day long. 

and they are explicit. 

and specific. 

and at first i kinda thought it was weird, maybe a bit freaky during the sex, but now, i am a full participant.  it is very empowering to share with someone that you want them, how you want them and what you want them to do.  we aren’t disrespectful, we don’t call eachother degrading names, we just end up expressing the degree of desire that we feel. 

and it makes me ravenous for him.

and i know he feels the same for me.

and i don’t know how the sex could be better.

a very happy new year!

vegas came over new year’s eve around 6.  we crawled into bed and “napped.”  ha.  then we went to the town center for dinner.  we both had burgers.  then we went back to my place, watched an episode of “family guy” and grabbed a bottle of champagne and went to wesley’s.

i told vegas i didn’t care where we went as long as it wasn’t downtown where we would have to drive back a long way home.  we were invited to 5 parties and i made vegas pick.  i’m cool anywhere, i can get along with anyone, i wasn’t worried about it.  so, vegas picked wesley’s because we both know him and his new place is about 5 miles away from me.  plus we are good enough friends that it would be cool if we crashed there.

so we arrive around 10pm, and desdemona and her boyfriend are there, some other cats i’ve known for a while.  and the drinks are flowing…..fast.  vegas isn’t drinking bc we are probably going back to my place.  between shots and beer and wine and champagne, i’ve had about 6 drinks by midnight.  i’m not driving anywhere. 

about 20 minutes after midnight all the lights on wesley’s block went out.  pitch black.  i’m in a house i’ve never been in before, not sober, and my phone is in my purse somewhere upstairs with my coat.  great.  vegas comes up behind me and asks is if i’m ok.  i say “i don’t like this.  i want to go.”  so, we go upstairs, fumbling in an unknown house, i find a jacket that feels like mine, put  my hands in a purse that feels like mine and pull out my phone.  YES!  so, i’m using my phone as a light to verify that the coat is, indeed, mine.  and it is.  and we leave. 

we get home, i get into pjs and climb into bed.  i’m pretty tired.  and we throw in “dodge ball” on the laptop and just go to bed. 

the next morning we wake eachother up.  i asked him if i said anything stupid and he says “you said you liked me a lot.”  well, i’m pretty sure he knew that, so whatever.

we roll around for a bit, then i make egg tostadas and sausage for breakfast.  i drink some tea, we watch some football, then we go to the movies and watch “yes man.”  it was better than i was expecting.  then he talks about going home, i talk about going to this new year’s day party.  we don’t go anywhere.  we have mini tacos, sit on the couch, catch up on the news, do the crossword puzzle, watch more football and he ends up staying. 

this morning it was SO cold neither of us wanted to get out from under the covers.  i think i need another blanket on my bed, because my room is the farthest from the thermostat and it gets chilly!  we eventually pull apart and we each go to work. 

i’m having a game night tonight.  just a  few friends.  vegas, ophelia, violetta, and some others.  everyone will be out by midnight and vegas and i will go to bed and not even think about an alarm.  mmmm.  so good.